Wednesday, 31st December 2003
I can’t believe the end of the year is finally here! I am sooooo looking forward to tonight! We are going to my aunties place for a New Years Eve party. She has the best parties. Well, when I mean best, I mean my parents are so preoccupied with food, fun and socialising that they forget I exist. I know that sounds bad but it’s actually a good thing because my cousin Steph and I get to hang out without our parents watching us. We usually sneak away when it begins to get dark, walk around the neighbourhood and meet up with her friends. I’d never be allowed to do that at home. Dad would say it’s too unsafe, and Mum… well, Mum would say that a ‘wakwak’ would get me.
Yup. A witch.
She’s been in this country for like, forever, and she still thinks that Filipino folk tales are real. I guess she can’t help it though, it’s just the way she was raised. I, on the other hand, was brought up right here in Australia, so I know better than to believe in any myths and legends. Well, at least I think I do. Although, I do reckon there are still Tasmanian tigers out there… and possibly the Yowie. Ok. Maybe I don’t know that much better. But seriously, what’s life without a little bit of mystery?
Speaking mystery, I have no idea where my favourite blue halter neck has gone. I was going to wear it tonight but it’s disappeared. I bet Grace has gotten into the laundry basket again and taken it. I have no idea why she keeps taking my things but it’s seriously annoying. Mum says it’s because she looks up to me. I say it’s because she just likes to be an annoying little brat to get attention from my parents when I tell her off. Sometimes I wish I was someone else. Like a rich person who lives in America. OMG that would be so cool! Just like in the movies. No uniforms, big shopping centres, amusement parks and travelling the world!
Actually, I can’t do that just yet. I still have two more years of high school to get through until I’m freeeee. Yup. Next year I’ll be in Upper School – Year 11! I am excited but really nervous. I could list all the reasons on both hands, but I really, really don’t want to think about it right now. It’s New Years Eve and I have some resolutions I want to make.
Now, I’ve thought about these for the past week, which is like ages, so I figured if I write them down and put them somewhere I can see them everyday then I’ll definitely achieve them.
- Do well in school. Easier said than done. I’m not that smart, so I’ll just have to concentrate more at school and stop falling asleep in class. I am sooooo not a morning person.
- Have a boyfriend (and keep him). My track record with guys is not real good. I get bored easily and then I realise months later that I should have stuck it out for longer than 4 months.
- Have my first real kiss. Like a proper kiss. On the lips. You know, French kissing.
- Gain weight. I am a stick I have no curves or boobs or anything! I’m pretty sure if I put some weight on I’ll look more like a girl.
Random bunch of resolutions, but I reckon they are totally doable.
… I don’t know.
I guess I’ll just hope for the best. OMG, now I’ve written them down it seems more real, like it’s not in my head anymore and there are words staring back at me. I think it will sink in after a while.
We have about 2 more hours until we leave so I have to do my hair and makeup like, right now. I’ve been lucky with my hair today; it’s not completely unworkable. Sometimes it takes ages to do one simple hairstyle (3 hours is my record… so far) because it’s so long and wavy, curly and straight. But I have to admit, as much as I struggle with it, I do love my hair colour. I have never dyed it. Not once. And I’m pretty proud about that. My friends have told me heaps of times that they wish they had my light brown hair. Is it bad that I like the fact that my hair makes my friends jealous? Probably. Do I really care? Nope.
Ok, yes I do care but like, with my group of friends, I feel like I don’t really stand out? Hmm… that’s not the word I’m looking for. Ignored. Yes, that fits better. Ignored. Sometimes, I feel really ignored when I’m around them, so when they notice small things about me, it makes me feel good. Don’t get me wrong, like, we have hell good times where I feel very much a part of the group, but overall, I feel like their lives are better than mine. I know that I shouldn’t compare myself with them, but I can’t help it. So yeah, I’ll take what I can if it means they pay some attention to me. I suppose that’s another thing I can add to my New Year’s resolution list.
- Be appreciated by my friends.
I think everyone wants to be accepted and as much as I do love my friends, they aren’t really good at showing that they care about me. Maybe they just go about it the wrong way. Or maybe it’s just me and how I see it. I’m not sure. But it would be nice to know that they value me.
Oh well, time will tell.
Speaking of time, I am running late. I guess this time tomorrow it will be 2004! I can’t wait!
Bring on the New Year!