One Friend, Two Friends, Three Friends – Ignored

Tuesday, 
6th January 2004

OMG so much happened today! I feel emotionally drained at the moment though. I woke up prematurely this morning because:

1) Grace has a fever today so she was screaming her head off at like 7am this morning,

2) Mum decided to do the vacuuming while I was sleeping and

3) My phone went off like 6 times.

It was Lauren. She said she was sorry that she didn’t make it online last night; her blood sugar was low so she wasn’t feeling up to sitting at a computer. I can’t believe I called her a bitch! I totally take that back right now. Poor Lauren. Her diabetes gets so bad sometimes. Ever since primary school she has been in and out of hospital because of complications, so I’m always relieved when she comes back to school because I know that she’s better again. But even when she’s good, she still has to be really careful about what she does and what she eats so that she doesn’t go into hypoglycaemic shock. Especially at school. That’s like, the last thing that any of us want.

I remember when Lauren and I were in year 5, we had a lady come into our classroom and talk about diabetes. Lauren was so embarrassed because it was obviously because of her. But that talk ended up being hell useful to everyone in the class; we learned heaps about diabetes and as a result, people suddenly became much nicer to Lauren and looked out for her from then on. I guess in a way, she became accepted? Even now, the kids that ended up going to the same high school as us still look out for her because they know about her condition. It’s really nice to see actually, considering how bitchy high school is.

I called her up and we had a long chat. She’s going on her annual family camping trip so she said it’s lucky I called her today – they are leaving early tomorrow morning! They go for like a week down south, past Margaret River to some beach spot. Normally she loves going down there and spending time with her family, but this year it’s different.

Turns out… Aaron asked her out!

*Squeals*

It’s about time – they have been flirting with each other since last year! She has liked him for a while, but the timing was never right. I guess things finally fell in place for them. I am so happy for her! And the best part of it all is that Lauren will be able to find out stuff for me about Joshua!

It must be fate that Lauren is dating Aaron. I mean, he’s Joshua’s best mate! Surely, it’s a sign that we are supposed to be together… right? Ahh! I can’t get ahead of myself! I don’t want to get disappointed if nothing happens. But I told Lauren that I still like him. She said she’s going to find out if Joshua likes me back. She said she wants us to get back together so we can have double dates! OMG I am so nervous I’ve had butterflies all day! It’s so stupid though – I’m not going to know anything more until Lauren gets back from her camping trip anyway, which is like, this weekend! And she can’t bring her phone with her because there’s no reception where she’s going apparently. They do have an emergency radio though, just in case something happens to any of them, but it’s mostly for Lauren sake. I don’t know how she’s going to live without her phone because I don’t think I could do it!

It was nearly lunchtime by the time I got off the phone, so I made a Nutella sandwich and watched some TV with Grace. Mum said that she was still a little feverish so I had to make sure I didn’t ‘overstimulate’ her. Whatever. She was watching some weird dancing show on ABC – it was so random! I started copying the dance moves and she suddenly burst into laughter. In the end, so did I. Her laugh is pretty cute. But I’d never admit that to anyone. Mum came into the lounge room and told me off because I was making her laugh. Like, seriously? I’m entertaining her daughter so she can clean the house! And isn’t laughter the best medicine? Apparently not. She then yelled at me to take Grace to the table for lunch, so I put her in her highchair and ended up sitting at the table for the whole thing because she began to cry every time I left.

Not cute. At all.

I was so relieved when the phone rang. It was Adrian. I got ready, told mum I was going and hightailed it out of the house before Mum could say no and Grace could pull another guilt tantrum on me.

We spent most of the afternoon in Adrian’s room. He bought heaps of souvenirs on his trip, so he was organising his room to make room for them. I’m a bit jealous; his room has heaps of shelving, and he has his own TV! Mum won’t let me have one in my bedroom for some reason. Or a lock. OMG I would kill for a lock on my door! I hate when she goes into my room and goes through my things. Such an invasion of privacy! Adrian is so lucky that his mum doesn’t go through his stuff.

Speaking of stuff, Adrian’s room is full of toys, CD’s, books and comics. Like, I have never seen so many McDonald’s Happy Meal toys in one spot. He collects them, along with Simpsons comics and anything to do with Kylie Minogue and Britney Spears. He ADORES them. He’s got their discography’s on display on his top shelves. They are like his pride and joy. I wish I had some type of collection like he does. All I have is 1,000 paper cranes I made last year, strung up all around my room. But they were so worth the time to make – my wish did come true…

There’s NO WAY in hell I’d tell Joshua that I wished for him to ask me out.

EVER.

So yeah, we just listened to music and looked through old photos of celebrities and mocked them. Then we played chess. I know it sounds really boring, but like, I enjoy doing this stuff with Adrian. I don’t feel any pressure to be fake, you know? Like, don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my friends too, talking about the newest fashion trends, guys and makeup or whatever, but sometimes it’s just nice to do the things I did when I was younger, like ride around in the street, watch cartoons or, play PlayStation. I guess that’s why Adrian and I are such good friends; we don’t want to grow up, but we don’t want people to know that, so we both understand that it has to be kept on the downlow. I guess it’s a bit like a secret I suppose. We don’t talk at school anyway, so there’s no way anyone would find out what we get up to.

I ended up leaving at 4.30pm because Adrian wanted to watch Bold and the Beautiful, so I went home, grabbed the cordless phone and called Britt. I was actually surprised that she picked up. She was pretty short with me though. Then she told me she had to go and then hung up on me!

WTF?!

Rude bitch! I was pretty pissed off because I’m 100% sure I haven’t done anything to her. I mean, I haven’t spoken to her in like ages, so I don’t know why she’s being a cow. I punched my pillow a couple of times and then put some music on. ATB is my favourite DJ in the whole entire world. His music can get me through anything. I don’t know what it is about trance music, but I find it really calming and uplifting. My friends don’t like it but I LOVE it.

I was drawing when mum called me for dinner. Dad and Grace were already at the table when I got there; I didn’t hear dad come home from work because my music up was pretty loud. Not that I care. The louder the better I say! We had spaghetti for dinner and afterwards Dad said I had to do the dishes so that mum could put Grace to bed. He’s so lazy, I mean, he hasn’t been at home all day, like why can’t he do them? He hasn’t got anything better to do. I did them but I washed them as loudly as I could. I’m pretty sure I got my point across. Then I went straight on the net.

Steph was on! Normally she blocks everyone so that she doesn’t have to talk to them but she must’ve decided to be sociable today. She’s weird like that. But then I noticed that Lewis was on too. Then, they both went offline at pretty much the same time.

Interesting.

Very interesting.

I don’t think I need to do any investigating anymore. It’s pretty clear that they are talking to each other, but who knows if they will start going out. And if I ask Steph straight up, there’s a 50/50 chance that she will either tell me what’s going on, or completely shut me down and not talk to me for like, ages. So it’s pretty much one extreme or the other with her. I’m not going to risk it.

Oh yeah, and Cameron added me on MSN tonight. He said that he got my email from Lewis. It was a bit random, considering he’s much older; why would he be adding someone like me? Wouldn’t he rather talk to people his own age? I couldn’t help but think about those things in the back of my head when we were chatting away. I was too scared to ask. Maybe I’ll ask him next time he’s on. I do like talking to him though. He makes me think more deeply about things. Like, for example we both like trance music, but he asked me to describe how it makes me feel. Like, that’s something my friends would never ask me. I actually feel like he’s genuinely interested in what I have to say.

It’s… nice.

He had to go because he has work in the morning but I really hope he’s on tomorrow. I wouldn’t mind talking to him again…

Amber A.

loveheart

Have you ever been in a situation with an older guy? And wondered why he was even talking to you in the first place? Drop a comment below – I’m super interested in reading about your experience.

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