The Maggot and MSN

Friday, 
16th January 2004

The ban is FINALLY finished!

I did sooooo much today. Firstly, I caught up with Adrian. He’s been looking for a job this week. I’m not really sure what type of work he’d be suited for, but he really wants to do something music-related. He’s hoping that his uncle will help him get a job at a record store that he manages. Good luck to him! I don’t know any teenagers who are working in that industry, unless they are part of a band, or are teen idols. But I will definitely go and visit him if he gets the job!

Discount CD’s? Yes please!

Secondly, I cleaned up my room. Mum came in this morning before she went to work and had a full on go at me for being lazy and not doing anything around the house. Seriously. At 8 am in the morning.  I groaned and went back to sleep. But I couldn’t sleep properly. She did have a point. I mean, I am on school holidays, so I really should be doing more cleaning or something. But… I’m on school holidays! They are called holidays for a reason! It’s a time to relax before the new school year starts.

I looked around my room. So messy. But it’s an organised mess! I’ve got a system and I know where everything is. But mum doesn’t get that. I decided to clean it up anyway. I mean, I couldn’t really see the carpet anymore…

Thirdly, I baked a cake. I can’t believe I still have my old cookbook from year 8 Home Economics. But I found it, right at the back of the pantry, along with mum’s recipe box and… a maggot!

GROSS! EWW, EWW, EWW!

It crawled onto my finger and I screamed my head off! It probably sounded like I was being murdered or something. I shook my hand violently and it fell on the floor. I think I was hyperventilating by this point – I was trapped.

In the kitchen.

With it!

It started crawling away, so I grabbed the insect spray from under the sink and coated it until it was completely covered with white foam.

And watched.

Until it died.

Because I’ve seen The Mummy, and I did not want to end up being eaten alive.

I put like, 10 paper towels over it and scooped it up and literally ran to the outside bin. Then I ran into the house and washed my hands. Again. And again. And again. I felt really icky. Like, I could feel it. Still on me. Crawling on my skin. It’s a disgusting feeling to have – I still have it. I think it’s going to traumatise me for the rest of my life.

I worked up the courage to go back into the kitchen and finished making my cake. It turned out ok. The top of it was a bit hard, which was disappointing, so I smothered it in icing sugar.

Tasted pretty good after that!

And fourthly, I spoke to Cam. I explained about mum and the internet ban, and he was really understanding. He said that mothers can get frustrated because they don’t understand this new ‘information age’. I was in awe. Isn’t he so smart? Like, I could learn sooooo much from him… if mum would let me. But no, she’s just set in her ways and doesn’t give anyone a chance. It’s not fair.

Anyway, he gave me his phone number, just in case it happens again. He said that he missed talking to me, and even asked Steph why I hadn’t been online! Obviously she didn’t know, but still! It’s so nice to know that he actually cares about me. I don’t know very many guys who are like that…

So now, like, right now, Cam is msging me. We’ve been msging for like an hour since I got off MSN actually. He’s such an interesting person. Seriously. Our conversations just flow. And I do find that when I’m talking to him, I pretty much ignore every other MSN chat that I have going on.

I’m really confused.

I feel like… Cam is sending me mixed signals. But, I’m not even sure if I’m reading into it too much. What I mean is, one minute, he’ll be asking me about my life and everything, then the next he starts to go all philosophical on me, like he’s trying to teach me wisdom or some shit. I am pretty sure that at times he is flirting with me, but then he says something that puts me in my place, like ‘oh you’re still young’, or ‘that’s what high school is all about’. And, as much as I really like talking to him, I don’t like the fact that I don’t know where I stand with him.

I’ve had enough of not knowing where I stand with guys. Like with Joshua. And now with Cam.

Not that I am actually interested in Cam. I know he’s way too old for me. He just makes me feel better about myself. He makes me like for me. But it just makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when I’m talking to him about certain things. Like, am I talking to a friend? Or something more? Does he want more? And then I have to ask myself; should I even be telling him all this? He just makes it so easy…

Such a smooth talker.

I’m so conflicted.

Amber A.

loveheart

Is anyone else scared of creepy crawlies? What kind? Love to hear your thoughts below!

6 Comments

  1. Amy Jane

    I’m new to your blog so I don’t know the full story of you and your admirers. But – I do know that if he is sending you mixed messages then he’s confused with what he wants and if he’s confused with what he wants he’s more likely to hurt you – no matter how great a guy he is. Just be careful. If he’s really interested he’ll get his head sorted and tell you.

    Ps re: the maggot. Oh my goodness. I know how you feel. I had an infestation of caterpillars on my house plant and that freaked/grossed me out!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. amberafter

      Hi there! Thanks for taking the time to read my post ☺️ I love your insight and advice on guys and relationships – you would think a teenage girl would know better.

      Essentially, my blog is a web serial (I think that’s the right terminology) and if you’d like to know more about it here’s a super useful link to explain it:

      https://happilyamberafter.com/2018/09/07/what-my-blog-is-about/

      And omg don’t get me started on creepy crawlies – I am so scared of spiders – even daddy long legs! 😱

      Like

      1. amberafter

        Oh gosh please don’t feel embarrassed!

        This is the perfect forum to get these kind of discussions going and with some really great advice from yourself. I wish when I was younger I had someone to advise me whilst navigating the friendship/relationship dilemma that Amber is facing.

        I really value your advice and I think any other readers that happened to stop by this post will feel the same ☺️💗

        Liked by 1 person

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