Senior School Jitters

Sunday, 
1st February 2004

Pinch and a punch for the first day of the month!

Ugh.

Grace woke me up this morning by yelling into my face and then pinching the crap out of me. Not a great way to wake up. I eventually dragged myself out of bed and got ready for work. Mum and dad wanted to have a look at the markets to find something for Grace’s friends birthday, so they dropped me off and had a cup of coffee with Larry. Grace wouldn’t sit still, so she started following me around the food court. Luckily it wasn’t very busy, otherwise mum would have freaked. After a while, they left in search for a birthday present and I was left to a very busy food court.

I figured that it was because it was the last weekend before everyone goes back to school. Except for the private schools. They started last week. Lol. Like, I seriously don’t understand why parents send their kids to private school. They are really expensive and at the end of the day, if you’re smart enough and uber determined to study your ass off, you’ll get into uni anyway. And you’ll get into the exact same uni as private school kids. So like, what’s the point?

I just think it’s a status thing. Like, what parents brag about to other parents. But I guess I don’t really know anyone that goes to a private school, so maybe I’m missing something. Michael is heaps smart and he goes to a public school, but I just know that he’s going to be like a brain surgeon or rocket scientist. And he doesn’t need a $15,000 a year high school to achieve that.

Speaking of Michael, he drove me home again. It was probably a good thing; Larry fell asleep in the car. And since he wasn’t talking, it was really awkward. Like, we didn’t say anything to each other the whole way to my place. I wanted to ask him about school and all that. I bet he’s taking all the hard subjects. He’ll probably ace them too. I’m never going to be better than him at anything. So not fair.

There are people like him that win at life. And then there’s me. I’m just all round plain average. Well you know what? It’s a new year now. And I haven’t forgotten about my new year’s resolution. I am really going to try this year and do well at school. I’m going to aim for A’s. I can totally do that. Yes! Yeah. Yup. Sure. Maybe?

… I’ll try.

As much as I really, really wanted to go on the net tonight, I’ve decided that getting a good night’s sleep before tomorrow is way more important than talking to Taj. I’ve been thinking about him all day, but I’ve had to get all my school stuff ready for tomorrow.

OMG. SCHOOL IS TOMORROW.

Where did the holidays go?! They went sooooo fast. But at least this year it’s been hell interesting so far. I think it’s totally setting my year up to be uber great. In less than 24 hours, I’m going into year 11… I’m finally going to be a Senior! I can’t believe that after this year, there will only be 1 more year left of high school. In less than 12 months, I might even have my drivers licence! It’s just so… OMG! Soooo overwhelming! There’s going to be so many things that I’ll be able to do real soon. It’s exciting but scary.

There are some other things which I’m worried about happening tomorrow:

1. My form class.

I have no idea who will be in my form class, or even what my form class will be. But it had better not be maths! I’ll be so annoyed if it is. I HATE maths. So much. And I hope that I’m not stuck with all the popular people because I’ll just get left out and look like a total loser/loner. I hope I someone in my class, and I really hope that Joshua isn’t in my class. Which brings me to my next concern…

2. Joshua.

I don’t know how I’m going to act. Like yeah, I totally don’t care about him anymore, but what he did still hurt me. There’s no way that I’ll ever talk to him… I don’t think… But seeing him? I don’t know whether to stare him down, or just avoid eye contact all together. I don’t even know if I’ll get butterflies in my stomach, or if it’ll churn from anger…

3. Having the same bag/shoes as someone else.

I will freak out if this happens. I bought my stuff ages ago, so my bet is that no one should have the same stuff as me. I will die of humiliation if someone has the exact same shoes or bag  – and wears it better than me

4. Seeing Taj.

Just like with Joshua, I have no idea how I’m going to act. I don’t want to turn into a pile of mush if I run into him. Or blush. Or stammer. Or just embarrass myself in some way. It’s easier said than done. Taj… he is so nice and sweet he just leaves me speechless. Damnit! Boys are so confusing!

I’m sure that none of the above will happen, but these are like the worst things that I can come up with.

So yeah, I’ve already packed my backpack, decorated my notepads, organised my files, put contact paper on my textbooks and laid out all my uniform for tomorrow morning. I can’t believe I’ll be wearing a white shirt tomorrow. It’s going to feel really weird. And it’s going to be even weirder seeing all the girls wearing white too. Britt sent us all a quick msg to tell us to meet at our usual spot before the first assembly starts. I couldn’t reply back; I still don’t have any credit. Oops.

We love our random loner tree at the front of the school. It’s our meeting point every morning. It has huge branches so in summertime, we keep cool under the tree while we are waiting for everyone to arrive, and in wintertime (when it’s not raining) we stand under it because it blocks the cold wind from turning us into icy poles. When we first started year 8, the tree was also our recess and lunch spot. So yeah, we have a long history with it. But we love our tree. I’m pretty sure we have even carved our initials into the trunk at some point too lol.

So yup. Tomorrow is the big day.

I’m shitting myself.

Amber A.

loveheart

How did you feel the day before becoming a High School Senior? Let me know in the comments below!

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