Reelings and Realisations

Monday, 
9th February 2004

School was weird. I rocked up to my group this morning, but Jenny walked off as soon as she saw me. Everyone noticed. It was awkward, trying to explain what happened last night. I really didn’t want to tell all of them what happened, I just wanted to tell Britt in private. But now, it’s out in the open. The girls seem to be on my side though, which is nice. As far as they’re concerned, Jenny lost her ‘claim’ on Taj once she said she wasn’t interested. And so what if she didn’t mean it? I’m not a mind reader; how was I supposed to know that ‘no’ means ‘yes’ to her? I’ve never seen her interested in a guy anyway, so I don’t really know how she acts around them. Hmm…

Maybe that’s how she shows she likes someone? It’s weird, I’ll give her that, but like, she can’t be mad at me because I like him too. She practically gave me the green light. So… why do I still feel angry, but sad?

I wanted to talk to her at recess, but I didn’t see her for the rest of the day. My guess is that she went to sit with some of her other friends. But that’s ok. I guess if I felt the way she does right now, I wouldn’t want to be hanging around with me either. Britt said that she would try and find out her side of the story for me. I haven’t heard from her. I really hope that that’s a good thing.

Speaking of Britt, she came home with me after school, and then dad took us to netball training. As much as I don’t like going to training, I kinda do; the under 16’s boys soccer teams play indoors on Mondays. Britt and I had a good look while dad was out of sight. Unfortunately, none of them were cute. Well… none of them were as cute as Taj.

It was helllllll good to see everyone. Well, everyone, except for Cory and April.

Ok, I know it sounds really strange, but for some reason, we are allowed to have 1 boy on our team. So, most teams in our league have one. But none of them are as good as Cory McArthur. We are uber lucky to have him; he is April’s best friend. When we first started out, our netball team came from all different high schools. April, Britt and I, however, went to the same primary school, so we already knew her. She asked if her friend could play with us because we were a couple of people short, so she brought Cory along. He enjoyed himself so much that he signed up straight after our first game. He’s actually in year 11 too and he goes to our high school. But…

He’s a basketballer.

It really sucks that the basketballers are popular; he is such a nice person. And so talented. I wish I could play both basketball and netball. And I wouldn’t mind talking to him at school. But high school social hierarchy reigns supreme, so yeah, Britt and I only talk to him at netball. Well, I talk to him; Britt just giggles – she thinks he’s really hot. I think he’s hot too. Actually… the whole netball team thinks he’s hot. Except for April. Obviously. I think that some of the girls on our team have massive crushes on him. It’s pretty funny actually. They are always talking to him, trying to touch him and competing for his attention. But he’s completely oblivious. I’m not joking. He’s just not interested…

Honestly? I think… he’s gay…

I know! It’s so mean to even think it! I know that I shouldn’t compare him to stereotypes, but like, he does have a high-pitched voice, and he’s very animated. I feel bad making assumptions but I don’t know… I actually told Britt what I thought and she wouldn’t of hear it. I haven’t said anything further about it because I know that if I ask all the other girls, they’ll probably act like Britt. But it doesn’t matter to me anyway. I’ve never been interested in him in that way. Plus, if he is straight, I don’t think he’d ever go for someone like me – he is really, really good looking.

I think everyone was a little disappointed that Cory wasn’t at training. And I was as well. But only because he’s my goal buddy. He plays Goal Attack (GA) and I play Goal Shooter (GS). So, it would have been nice to practice shooting and rebounding with him. Not that he needs to practice.

Did I mention that he plays netball for the state team?

I told you Cory is ridiculously good. He just reads the game so well. And he’s so quick, flexible and accurate that he’s easily the best player in the league. He makes it look effortless. It’s INSANE. I don’t think that he would gain anything from coming to training today anyway, especially if he’s being trained by the state captain. Lol.

Dad really pushed us today. I was sweating sooooo badly by the end of our training session. But I think it was worth it. At least I know where I’m at. Like, I need to watch my passing; it’s a bit flimsy. And weak. But mind you, I haven’t thrown a netball in like 2 months! I thought I did good.

Britt, on the other hand, had a hard time. I don’t think she had proper grip because she kept dropping the ball. But she wasn’t the only one. I think it was the humidity. Dad told us that our first game is on this Friday at 6.15pm. But we don’t know who we are versing yet. The fixtures aren’t going to be up until Friday, so no one else knows who they are playing either. I hope it’s an easy team.

After netball training, we dropped Britt home and then had dinner. Afterwards, I quickly practised piano, then I did my chemistry and physics homework and then went on the net for a little bit.

Pretty much everyone was on tonight! I reckon I had about 6 chat windows going at one stage:

  • Britt. She said that she got her first assignment for Textile studies, so she was busy researching some ideas for her project. She also said that she was talking to Jenny, so I reminded her to tell me what she says so I can work out if I should be the one to apologise. Or not.
  • Amy. I shouldn’t have bothered; she was talking to Dan for pretty much the whole night. I barely got 2 words out of her. Unless I asked her about Dan. She said that wagging school was the best thing she could have done – he asked her out on another date, so she’s really excited about it.
  • Lauren. She was complaining about Aaron and how he acts like a different person when he’s around his friends. Other than that, she’s pretty good.
  • Mercy. I can always rely on Mercy to make me feel better. She pretty much reassured me that I’m right about the Jenny situation and that she’s been in the same situation as me a couple of years ago. Mercy doesn’t normally open up to me, but I milked it for what it was worth. We are definitely better friends now.
  • Cameron. He actually started up the conversation with me. He doesn’t start university until late February. So lucky. Why can’t high school start later in the year? He also said that Lewis told him about the whole Dan Flanders thing, and then he kind of told me off for not being careful. I was a little annoyed, considering I am a big girl and I can look after myself. So, I‘ve just put it down to him being a caring friend.

And finally:

  • Taj. He makes my day so much brighter when I talk to him. And he was being really flirty with me. Like, he asked me what chocolates I’d live off if I could, and what my favourite cartoon character is. I asked him why he wanted to know and he said that he wants to know everything about me because he never really got a chance to last year and he totally regrets it. He also said that if he had a girl like me, he’d do everything he could to keep me. I thought that was really sweet. I could tell that he wanted to ask me more questions, but he had to go to bed.

I think… given all the questions he was asking, that he’s planning something. I’m not entirely sure, but what I do know, is that Valentine’s Day is coming up real soon, and if he’s the big romantic that I think he is… he might ask me out!

Oh crap!

Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday! OMG. I wonder if he’s going to ask me out on a date on Saturday, and give me chocolates?

I can’t wait to tell the girls – I want to know what they think!

Amber A.

loveheart

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